


never forget who you are

by Poetry_peaches



Category: Avatar: The Last Airbender
Genre: Adventure, Alternate Universe - Canon Divergence, Angst, Angst with a Happy Ending, Bisexual Sokka (Avatar), Canon Divergence, Domestic Fluff, Field Trip, Fluff, Gay Zuko (Avatar), Hurt/Comfort, Ikem/Noren is an asshole, Implied/Referenced Child Abuse, Iroh is an okay uncle, M/M, Memory Alteration, Memory Loss, Mostly Zuko POV, Mutual Pining, Ozai (Avatar) is an Asshole, Past Sokka/Yue (Avatar), Spirits, The Search Comics (Avatar), Ursa (Avatar) is a Good Parent, Zuko (Avatar)-centric, Zuko is Li, Zuko is an Awkward Turtleduck, as a zuko centric fic thats kinda a given, just the flashbacks from the comic, minor kaatang, no beta we die like yue, sokka wears jewelry because this is my fic and i can, some sokka pov as well as others, theyre both idiots, zuko actually experiences a somewhat normal family
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2021-03-04
Updated: 2021-03-06
Packaged: 2021-03-13 09:08:23
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: Graphic Depictions Of Violence
Chapters: 2
Words: 14,860
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/29524101
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Poetry_peaches/pseuds/Poetry_peaches
Summary: It was tempting to forget the pain and suffering of the last eleven years, the memories wiped of her cruel husband and life in the royal palace, but Ursa knew that she would endure another thousand years with Ozai if it meant that her children would be safe. She made her decision immediately, if she kept her memories and changed her face she wouldn’t be the banished and former Firelord’s consort. She could be anything instead.This one decision, though, unbeknownst to her or anyone else, would lead to what happened the night of the fateful Agni Kai, a boy leaving the only people he ever loved, and that boy traveling the desert with a stranger whose first girlfriend turned into the moon
Relationships: Iroh & Zuko (Avatar), Kiyi & Zuko (Avatar), Sokka & Zuko (Avatar), Sokka/Zuko (Avatar), Ursa & Zuko (Avatar)
Comments: 4
Kudos: 16





	1. Prologue

More than anything else, he was worried.

Iroh stood in the training grounds with his nephew as he practiced his katas and Iroh critiqued him, the early morning sun shining down on their faces. It was preferred to practice outside, to be closer to Agni’s rays. The training grounds for the royal family was a large balcony on the highest level of the castle. The young boy stood there, off the platform where he would practice, sweat dripping on his brow as he took a break for a sip of water. 

“There’s nothing to be worried about Uncle, the general is old and weak,” Prince Zuko said. “You said yourself, even in his prime, he wasn’t known for his firebending.”

Yes, Iroh was worried. He was worried that this general would be a better fighter than Zuko anticipated. He was worried that the general would get the upper hand on him in the fight by sheer luck. He was worried that Ozai had something else in store for the young prince. His brother had seemed to be awfully quiet about the incident in the meeting yesterday after it ended. Yes, he did call it out as an act of disrespect, but he calmed down quickly, which wasn’t a good sign. Ozai was like Iroh and Ozai’s own father, they didn’t let their sons off easy, and with Azulon, it was never a good thing for him to be quiet about something.

Putting that aside, though, Iroh was also somewhat proud of Zuko, he would make a good leader if he kept up fighting in what he believed in. That was something both Iroh and Ozai lacked. The two of them both seem to have the common trait of manipulating situations into what would benefit them the most. Zuko didn’t manipulate anything yesterday, he just spoke his mind, and it wasn’t to benefit himself in any way. 

Iroh took a deep breath in, feeling the sun beam down. Agni Kais were usually held at noon, when the sun was highest in the sky. It was only a few hours away.

“You should get your rest, nephew,” Iroh stepped closer to Zuko. “You don’t want to overwork yourself so you’re tired for the duel.”

Zuko’s eyes hardened. He hated people knowing he was tired. It frustrated Iroh to no end. He always had to work the hardest, put in the most time, be the most dedicated out of everyone. It made Iroh just want to take him away and make him take a nap, only to wake him up with a cup of tea and a game of relaxing pai sho.

Zuko gave his water cup to a servant. “I’ll be fine.”

“Yes, you will be,” Iroh smiled, stepping closer to his nephew. “You’ve come a long way since I started to train you, and remember what I said.”

“Picture myself winning the duel, yes I know,” he muttered, stepping past Iroh onto the training platform. “Now, let me do the fundamental katas again,”

Iroh nodded, then he dramatically stretched his back. He scrunched up his face, trying to make it look like he just ate three bags of fireflakes in one go.

Zuko raised an eyebrow. 

“Oh, Prince Zuko,” he exclaimed. “My old bones have gone out from standing so long this morning.”

“You’re fine uncle,” Zuko said. “This will take ten more minutes,” Iroh kept rubbing his back, wailing dramatically. “Sit down over there, if you’re in so much pain,”

Zuko’s eyes searched him, he could obviously tell he was faking it. Ever since Iroh had been his firebending instructor last year, Iroh could be able to train him from sunup to sundown (not that that happened very often). They had only been training today for an hour.

Iroh groaned again. “I fear only a cup of tea with my favorite nephew will fix this.”

Zuko huffed. “Uncle, I'm your only nephew,” He still got off the training platform and put on his outer robes.

“I’ll meet you in the sitting room, let me go grab my lucky teapot,” Iroh said as Zuko lingered by the doorway.

He watched him leave, then glanced at the two servants standing at the doorway, one holding Zuko’s cup of water. There were hundreds of servants in the palace, but Iroh prided himself on being able to know a large amount of their names. When he was growing up in the palace as a child, he didn’t care. The servants and guards were trained to be invisible, just like flies on the wall. Having that perspective of them only made him more appreciative as he got older, though. They saw things that people like Ozai would be horrified if he realized they knew.

Luckily, that would be foolish of Ozai, as these servants were nothing to be worried about. They were nobodies with no connections outside of their jobs with the royals, they weren’t scheming anything suspicious. 

Standing there were two women, one with lines creasing her skin, the type of lines that came from experience, not age. Her smile reminded Iroh of a mother, where her happiness escaped on her lips but was strained by fear of doing the wrong thing or worry of another’s well being. 

The other woman had a long slender nose and seemed to have a constant frown etched on her skin. Her name was Akari.

“He’s a little spitfire, isn't he?” Iroh said to them, making eye contact with the servant he didn’t know what to call.

She tensed and sputtered something that sounded like, “Are you talking to me?”

Akari laughed at the other servant. “Yes, he was,” She then looked at Iroh. “She was just transferred to this part of the palace. Not used to talking to royals, eh?”

She turned her head towards Akari. “No,” She said, almost like a realization. “I guess not.” 

“Well good for you, because General Iroh’s the only one who’ll talk to you,” she responded. “And he’s the only one who’s nice,”

The other servant flinched and looked at Iroh expently. He only just chuckled. Sometimes he thought that Akari was trying to get fired. If anyone else saw her talking like that, she definitely would be. 

“I certainly hope that I’m not the nicest, that’s a lot of pressure on an old man,” he responded. “Someday I hope my nephew deals with his temper, maybe he could take my place,”

Akari pursed her lips. “I wouldn’t count on that,”

Iroh shrugged. “He just needs a good influence...speaking of that, I should be going back to him now. Akari, could you get my ginseng blend for me?”

She nodded before bowing and exiting the training room. Iroh quickly got his teapot and went to the elegant sitting room where Zuko was waiting, expensive artifacts decorating the walls and silk curtains hung over the doorways. Zuko kneeled at the table already set with cups. Iroh noted how he was picking at his fingernails.

He took the blend from Akari and prepared the tea in silence. As they drank it, Iroh tried to bring up things he’d heard around the palace he thought Zuko might be interested in, he asked him how his lessons were going, but he wasn’t in the mood for small talk. Iroh respected that and they sat together in silence as Iroh felt the sun become stronger and stronger in his veins. He knew Zuko could feel it as well. 

A guard finally entered the room, bowing to the two of them. “It is time, your highnesses,”

Zuko inhaled and stood up. “Thank you for the tea, Uncle,”

“My pleasure, Prince Zuko,” Iroh responded. “You will do well today, I know,”

Zuko bowed before following the guard through the red curtains of the sitting room and into the torchlit halls. Iroh got up himself and stretched his back before going to the Agni Kai arena himself.

The half hour before the Agni Kai started was a blur. Crowds of lords, ladies, and generals filled the stands and Iroh made his way to stand up front, next to his niece. Iroh had been to many Agni Kais in his life and any that happened in the Capitol City would have a turnout like this. The Fire Nation loved its violence, even if most Agni Kais lasted less than five minutes. Maybe it was a part of a firebender’s burden, the desire to use their skill in this gruesome way. Maybe it was because the nation didn’t have enough examples of other things fire could do as opposed to burning. Maybe being in a country run by war made these spoiled nobles long to see the bloodshed peasants knew. 

Iroh thought it could be all three. 

The Agni Kai platform was raised above a set of stairs that went down into darkness. Iroh didn’t even know where it led to, as the one time he fought an Agni Kai, it was while he was away working as a general. There were dark fire pits in the four corners of the platform and red clothes hanging on the walls behind the crowd, embroidered with the sign of the Fire Nation.

Finally, a gong rang and Iroh saw Zuko enter onto the platform as the fire pits lit with orange flames. He looked at the wall with his back turned to his opponent, his ceremonial cloth hung around his bare shoulders. He was so young, much too young to fight an Agni Kai. 

Iroh turned his gaze to the frail old general as his breath caught in his throat. That was not the general. 

He watched in horror as time seemed to slow down. Zuko turned to see his father, the man standing there like he was made of iron, tall and strong and without an ounce of doubt. Even as he was a distance away from him, he loomed over Zuko, his eyes concentrated on his trembling son. His face was shaded from the light above, so the shadows slightly hid his scowl.

“Please father!” Zuko said. “I only had the Fire Nation’s best interests at heart! I’m sorry I spoke out of turn!”

Ozai walked to him and Iroh tensed. “You will fight for your honor,”

Zuko dropped on his knees, then to the ground, bowing to Ozai. “I meant you no disrespect, I am your loyal son,” He responded, his voice becoming softer.

“Rise and fight, Prince Zuko!” Ozai said.

“No,” His voice wavered. “I won’t fight you,”

“You will learn respect,” Ozai stopped before him. “And suffering will be your teacher,”

Iroh inhaled as Ozai wrapped a hand around his son’s face, wiping a wet tear away from his cheek. Iroh wished it was a motion of a loving father, but he knew better.

He looked away.

Hours seemed to pass for the few seconds he heard Zuko’s screams, desperate and heartbreaking until they stopped suddenly and he heard something fall. It was a few more seconds before he heard a voice filled with disgust say, “Take him away,”

Iroh dared to look as some servants carried Zuko’s limp body off the stage. He must’ve passed out from the pain.

“My son has shown dishonorable weakness here today,” Ozai addressed the crowd. “And he will be banished for his shameful actions.” He then let out a wicked grin. “The day that he will be allowed to come home is the day that he brings the Avatar in chains with him.”

A few laughed at his statement as Iroh decided he needed to leave as soon as possible to find his nephew. He glanced over at Azula, only eleven years old as she laughed along with the crowd.

He looked away.

\----

Iroh wanted to go see his nephew, but he knew he would just get in the healers’ ways. Part of him blamed himself for what happened. He had suspected there was something wrong with this situation, and he was right, yet he still did nothing. He still let his nephew get half of his face melted off while Iroh couldn’t even look. If he had been just a little smarter, a little more observant, and realized what Ozai had in store for his son, he would’ve taken Zuko and ran far away. He would’ve fought the Agni Kai himself, he was the one who let Zuko in the war room. If Ozai got to fight on the General’s behalf, Iroh should’ve fought on Zuko’s. 

He wasn’t sure what he wanted to accomplish by seeing his nephew, though his longing was strong, but he was forced to practice self-restraint. Plus, the realization of what had happened had finally set into Iroh’s mind. Zuko was banished from the Fire Nation. The thirteen year old boy was sent away by his own father; he was banished from the country he was supposed to rule one day. 

Iroh spent the afternoon packing his own things, stuffing his different robes and items in a few bags. He tried to pack only the essentials but he was finding that an extremely hard thing to do. He gave up after a while, figuring out that there was plenty of time before Zuko would be healed enough to travel. 

He set aside his pai sho board, knowing what the next order of business was.

He left his bed chambers, noticing that the sun had already set that day from the absence of light escaping the paper windows. He marched his way down the halls anyway, knowing that Ozai would still be in his throne room. He was right, as a guard was posted outside.

The guard bowed to Iroh and let him in without a word. Iroh wasn’t sure if that was because of his title or because Ozai was expecting him. 

Iroh entered the room, the orange flames forming a barrier between the throne and the rest of the room. It was overbearing how large the flames were. Iroh made a point to never go into this throne room for the last three years he was here. He reminded him too much of his past, who he used to be. He trained his whole life to sit behind the wall of flames, and he gave it all up for some lie Ozai told. At the time, he was glad that he gave it up, so not to burden himself with the role of leadership. Ozai’s actions were becoming more and more concerning, though.

Iroh bowed on his old knees (in his head he was bowing towards the flames, not the man who sat behind them). “Firelord Ozai,”

“General Iroh, I was expecting you sooner or later,” He responded. “For what do I owe the pleasure?”

Iroh stood back up slowly. Even if he was exaggerating earlier that day to Zuko about his spine, he still wasn’t getting any younger.

“I’m sure you know well, brother,” Iroh said, keeping his voice at a steady tone, being respectful while still blunt. His eyes darted at the large hand that was Ozai’s right before he looked back up to his eyes. 

“Don’t tell me you have a soft spot for my son.”

Iroh shrugged. “I have been training him these past three years, it’s always been a pleasant experience for me.”

Ozai raised one delicate eyebrow. “You know that you’re only his master because he was falling so far behind training with Azula and her instructor.”

Iroh knew that’s what Ozai thought, but personally, Iroh thought being taught by the Dragon of the West was a higher honor than being taught by some random master.

“I am well aware of that, you know that I am,” Iroh said. “But I’m sure you also know that I would like to continue these lessons.”

“Of course you would.”

“Yes, maybe if he can work hard enough to have the Avatar coware before him.” Iroh raised an eyebrow letting a small smirk on his lips, challenging Ozai’s previous statements. The Avatar that their grandfather and father devoted so much time into looking for was now just a fairytale. Iroh knew that, but he needed Ozai to know the value he placed in Zuko.

Ozai let out a bark of laughter. It sounded fake to Iroh’s ears. “Yes, make sure to give the Avatar my best regards on your vacation.” He stared down at Iroh. “I know my son, he takes everything at face value. Be prepared to do actual work, old man,”

Iroh wasn’t one to get angry easily. It was something he prided himself on as a firebender, he never let his temper get the best of him. Others would make fun of him, as he felt other emotions much stronger, but at that moment he had to bite his tongue. He wouldn’t let his brother get the best of him, there was no point.

“I am prepared, your majesty,” Iroh responded.

“Good,” he said flatly. “Because I want the two of you gone by tomorrow, stay however long you need in the Fire Nation to get proper transport, but you’re not welcome in the palace anymore.”

Iroh’s jaw dropped. “But-but he’s unconscious-he can’t move until he’s healed.”

“I am well aware of that, General.” The flames reflected in his eyes to make them look like they were burning red. “And that is all that I wish to say to you.”

Iroh took a deep breath, then looked back at Ozai, holding onto one second where he could scream or yell at him, to try to persuade him, then he turned away without bowing.

He quickly made his way through the hallways and stopped to tell a maid to give the news about the prince’s banishment to the healers.

He figured he had a number of contacts that would be able to get him in a boat in no time, the problem was what to do with Zuko while those contacts worked themselves out. Iroh doubted that he would have time to rest tonight.

He went down corridors that he had never been to, constantly asking the maids and servants he passed for the right directions. They all seemed surprised at his request, but obliged quickly and were rather helpful to him. The royal palace was giant, as many lords and generals stayed there, as well as all the servants and guards who worked for them. Iroh had never had a reason to go to the servant corridors, until now. 

He arrived outside one large room, the sounds of many women's voices echoing from inside, and waited at the sliding door. He doubted that the women inside would want a royal general to show up unexpectedly to their room. 

He knocked on the wall. “I’m sorry to disturb you, but it’s General Iroh, I need to speak with one of you urgently.”

After a few seconds of silence, a woman opened the curtains. She wore a night robe and had long brown hair that she wore around her shoulders. All the servants were dressed like that in the large room, most sitting on bedrolls that were lined up on the floor. Iroh again felt guilty for intruding on them at this hour. He was thankful he got the woman he wanted to see’s name from Akari, otherwise she would be less easy to find.

“General,” the woman bowed. “How can we help you?”

Iroh’s eyes latched onto the paper panel at the end of the room. It was the only other one, and it was open, even though it was raining outside. It could very well be that the women like the sound of the rain, but Iroh could only see how the open panel could easily fit a person.

He walked past the bedrolls, the servants giving him odd looks, and to the panel, trying to stay light on his feet. He gripped his fingers onto the side, and looked down, seeing a woman on the ground, her back pressed up against the wall as the rain fell down her face and clothes. Only then he noticed a small bump on her stomach, one of her hands wrapped around it.

“You should’ve run away when you had the chance, Noriko.”

She smiled sadly. “Yeah, well...the guards would’ve stopped me.”

“I’m glad you didn’t, and I think you’ll be glad as well.” Iroh stood up straighter. 

He could tell how nervous she was. The fact that she had tried to run away clearly meant that she figured out he found out who she was. He couldn’t imagine what she thought was going to happen to her.

“I am not going to harm you, or put you in jail, or anything like that,” Iroh insisted. “I swear on my son and wife’s graves that if you stay put, I can help you.”

Her brows creased together as she hesitated. “I-okay.”

Iroh stepped back from the window, only then remembering all the other servants. Their faces were a mix of fear and shock, but all their eyes were on him. Usually, it was considered rude to make eye contact with a royal, but they must’ve been too surprised to care.

“Don’t worry, I appreciate the unity you have with each other,” Iroh said, hoping to ease the tension. “I wish that my job came with more unity between my coworkers...what life without trust, though? Nobody can truly be living without unity between others.”

The servants just seemed more confused, so he decided it’d be best if he just got to the woman outside as quickly as possible, so he did. 

He went outside, the rain still pouring. As usual, in the Fire Nation, though, the air stayed warm and humid. Noriko was in her night robes, a pale pink color contrasting against the dark walls of the palace. At least she wasn’t sitting in the grass anymore.

He took this time to really observe her. Her hair was a much warmer color and her eyes much darker. She still carried the same spirit, though. He was able to tell from the first time he saw her in the palace that underneath the new face, it was still Ursa.

“I would love to catch up with you, Ursa, but our time is running out,” he said to her, keeping his voice down from any passing guards as he led her away from the still open window.

“How do you know who I am?” she asked. “And running of time for what?”

“Don’t worry, Ozai doesn’t know,” Iroh said. “But I need to know the reason that you’re here, it’s because of your children, right? If you had the chance to run away with Zuko, you would?”

Her eyes widened. “Yes, yes, of course.”

“Okay, then come with me.” Iroh walked to the inside of the palace and led her down the halls and stairs as he talked. “I assume that you’ve heard of Prince Zuko’s banishment.”

“I have heard rumors,” she said from behind him. Servants were forced to walk behind the people they served. “It’s not true, is it?”

Iroh didn’t want to be the one to show her, but he had to. “You can see for yourself what happened, but he has to leave by tomorrow. I’m coming with him, and I hope that you do too.”

“Where?”

“I don’t know, wherever he wants...wherever you want. Just, maybe pack up all your stuff after we go see Zuko and we'll figure it out then. We can’t let Ozai know who you are now, though. We just need to leave.”

They went the rest of the way to the healer's room in silence, as more and more guards filled the corridors. Iroh was thankful for it, as he got the chance to think through his plans. 

They arrived in the healer’s room and a guard announced their presence. Iroh had given Ursa a teapot so nobody was suspicious of the two of them. If there was only one thing that was normal for Iroh, it would be tea. Iroh just hoped they weren't getting in the healer’s way. 

Iroh shut his eyes for a brief moment, preparing himself for what was about to happen as he opened them. He looked forward.

There, lying with a bandage wrapped around his delicate features, was Prince Zuko. He seemed so small, lying under the silk blankets as the healer sat at his bedside with a bowl of broth. Iroh could hear his shallow breaths as he slept, like he was having a nightmare. There would probably be many nightmares to come for Zuko throughout his life.

Iroh observed the water basin, with dirty towels over the side, burn creams littered on the bedside table with white bandages. 

A yelp drove Iroh’s attention away from him. He spun to see Ursa’s face as white as a sheet as she clutched the teapot in her fingers.

Iroh looked back at the startled healer. “Sorry, she must be squeamish.” He then took a step forward, extendinging his hands. “I can feed him, if you want a break.”

“Oh, it’s no problem, General, I can just get my apprentice if I need a break,” he responded.

“Yes, well,” Iroh pondered. “I want to help….let me feel useful and you can go get some fresh air, hm?”

The healer hesitated, then he handed the bowl of broth to Iroh and bowed. “Thank you.”

Iroh watched as he left the room, then he looked to Ursa. She turned to face the wall, but Iroh could see that she was hiding the tears streaming down her face.

When the healer completely was gone, she looked at Zuko and gasped again.

“Iroh-wha-what?”

“I’m sorry I didn’t warn you, I didn’t want to remember myself.” He motioned at the chair the healer used. “Sit with him.”

She did and wiped her face before she brought her fingers to Zuko’s revealed cheek. She stroked her hand on his skin, to his ear as she sniffled.

He couldn’t imagine what it would be like to be separated from Lu Ten for three years and to come back to him like this. He wouldn’t be able to handle it. It made him feel guilty for being so vague to her.

She then turned back to Iroh, her gaze hardened. “I never should’ve left….I left my babies with this monster, I left them and I knew what he was like….”

Iroh kneeled on the ground to not tower over her. “You had no other choice, Ursa. I don’t know the full story, but I know that you’re a good woman who was in a bad situation that did your best.”

Iroh wanted to add that the same couldn’t be said about him, but knowing Ursa’s kind heart, she would probably try to console him. He was not the one to be consoled now. 

“What do we do now?” she asked, reaching her hand over to hold onto Zuko’s limp one.

“I’m not sure,” Iroh spoke truthfully. Ozai was putting him in an impossible situation, and Ozai knew it. “But I know that all you have to do is be prepared to never come back to this palace again.”

“This is unreal.”

She let go of Zuko’s hand and brushed a piece of hair out of his face before standing up. Iroh took her gesture to place the bowl of broth on the bedside table. He would need to talk to the healer about having to move him tomorrow. For all the war that Iroh lived through, he wasn’t sure how to deal with a burn like this. If Zuko was a soldier, he would probably be considered a lost case. The Fire Nation eliminated weakness as soon as possible.

They were in a country too taken over by war, as Ozai was treating his own son as a soldier. Burning him, then eliminating him.

Ursa brushed her fingers over her night robe to attempt to fix the wrinkles and wiped her bloodshot eyes again as she lingered by the doorway. She then furrowed her brows and looked to Iroh.

“What about Azula?” she asked.

Iroh frowned. “Azula?”

“We’re taking her with us too, right?” she clarified, her tired eyes searching Iroh’s when he didn’t answer. “General Iroh, we have to take Azula too, we can’t leave her here! I made that mistake once, I’m not doing it again.”

He sighed. “I’ll do whatever you think is best, but you have to understand….taking-or trying to take Azula with us would only jeopardize Zuko’s safety,”

She glared at him. “So Zuko’s safety is more important than Azula’s?”

Iroh wanted to tell her that she didn’t see the kind of person Azula was turning into. She was cruel and competitive and powerful, everything that Ozai wanted her to be. If they tried to take her with them, it would turn into a kidnapping. Azula would never willingly go with them, she was Ozai’s daughter to a fault.

Ursa was right, though. She was only an eleven year old. He was letting Ozai’s influence over her cloud his view so he didn’t see the little girl underneath.

“Okay,” he said. “Let’s go get her then.”


	2. chapter one - what lies behind your eyes when they are closed

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> i bet you won't be able to guess who li is......you won't believe it.......literally once you figure out who li is your mind will be blown.....

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> li is zuko, incase that isnt clear lol

Red. A sea of it prickling on his skin like a thousand needles. He was lying on it while it wrapped around him, leaving only his right check clean. He wanted to wipe the sensation away, but his hands were frozen at his sides.

Li opened his eyes. 

He groaned, turning so he was lying on his back. He then threw his blankets off and pushed his hair out of his face, the silky strands tickling his eyes. It was still dark outside, but he didn’t want to go back to sleep and relive whatever that was. He sat up, placing his bare feet on the cool wood floors before leaving his bedroom. On his way out, over the pants he slept in, he put on a tunic that was hanging over the side of his dresser.

He lived in a small house with his mother and little sister, Kiyi. It was only the three of them because Li’s father died when he was young and Kiyi’s father left his mother before she realized she was pregnant. They had a short affair, all of which Li wasn’t present for because he was at an academy far away from where his mother was living in the capital at the time. That meant that Li had never met Kiyi’s father.

In their home, he was able to have a room to himself. There wasn’t much in it ever since his family moved here three years ago, but he liked it that way. He had a small futon and a dresser where he kept a small amount of clothes, as well as his books and his few knick knacks; all of which included a ceramic incense holder, a few candles, an engraved knife, and a large bead that had the carving of a dragon on it. He wasn’t even sure where he got the bead from, as he had nothing to use it for. On top of that, dragons were also commonly used for the royal family and it could be seen as disrespectful by some to wear it.

He slid his bedroom door closed behind him and brought flames to the tip of his finger to light a candle that sat on the shelf before going over to the water basin. He took the teapot and got to making himself a cup of tea, using his firebending to heat the water.

It was peaceful at the house at night. He loved his family, but Kiyi was always such a ball of energy and she was at an extremely curious age, everything was exciting and new and that meant she had to ask a million questions about it. It was nice to be quiet for a while while she was asleep.

He poured himself a cup, watching the steam swirl around the dark room, and went by the door. In front of their house they had a wooden porch where you can sit on the edge and put your feet in the grass. Li would sometimes go outside to look up at the sky from there. His mother was doing that when Li peered his head through the door frame. 

He poured another cup of tea and brought it with him outside.

She jumped when Li slid the door open more, then she relaxed when she saw that it was only him. Li sat next to her on the porch, passing her the cup of tea, the hints of jasmine wafting through the air as the wind blew.

“Why are you up, Li?” she asked, her voice softly sweet.

“I could ask the same of you,”

She shrugged. “That’s fair...I guess I just couldn’t sleep.”

“Me neither,” Zuko set his cup on the porch so he could lean back on his hands, looking at the other dark houses and trees in the distance. “I had a nightmare.”

“Do you want to talk about it?”

“No.”

There were a few moments of silence as they sipped their tea. Zuko always liked to get up early for the same reason he was enjoying sitting outside now. It was quiet and Zuko felt like he could focus. There was nothing fighting for his time, it felt like his house was the only house in the world. 

He had nightmares often, as embarrassing as it was-it made him feel like a little kid-but he usually had no memory of waking up from them. He was sure he did sometimes, but in his half awake stumber he probably just went back to sleep while his brain erased the memory of it.

His mother set down her cup and turned to the house. “I should get to bed, I have to decide what play we're putting on by tomorrow.”

His mother was going to work as a director for their town’s different theatre production. It was a small town, so like any other people who weren’t fishermen or merchants, she had multiple jobs. She was also a herbalist, which Li would help with.

Apparently, they used to do theatre year round in Hira’a, but now, the town was more reluctant to waste money and time on the arts. There were better things to do, but Noriko had convinced them to put on a play in the spring. She was giddy with excitement, theatre was her passion. Li guessed that the reason she couldn’t sleep was because she was thinking of all the things she could do.

“You know, I’m considering Love Amongst Dragons, I know that’s your favorite,” his mother said, leaning in closer to Li. “You could always audition, follow in the family footsteps.”

Li frowned. “I think I'll pass.”

“Why not? Theatre’s a great experience...it could help you get out of your shell a little bit,”

Li raised his eyebrow. “My shell?” Li was a reserved person who kept mostly to himself, but he definitely wasn’t shy. 

She shrugged. “I don’t know….when I was your age I was always hanging out with friends, goofing off, kissing boys….well one boy, I was smitten with Kiyi’s father.”

Li rolled his eyes. He knew what she was doing. Li spent most of his time working with her, watching Kiyi, or training, either with his sword or his firebending. He didn’t mind it that way, it felt like all he knew, even though three years ago he went to an academy and had friends and studied things other than combat forms. His memories were a bit foggy from then, though. His mother said it was probably from the trauma of getting his scar. 

He could care less about those times anyway, he didn’t mind that when he thought of being younger it felt like a daze. The present was all that mattered to him, and his present was fine.

Of course she wouldn’t understand, but Li was fine. Anyways, he liked watching plays when he was younger. He couldn’t imagine himself being in one, putting on a stuffy costume and reciting words somebody else wrote. It just wasn’t him.

“I mean….do you want to be a herbalist your whole life, Li?” his mother asked, she then hesitated before placing his hand on Li’s shoulder. She held on delicately, not too tightly, but enough so Li could feel her. “I love working with you and I appreciate your help, but I worry that I choose a life for you that you don’t want. I just worry about you, that’s all.”

Li turned away from her so his hand fell. “You don’t need to worry about me,”

“I mean, there’s a whole world out there, other than just Hira’a. Before I met your father, I had never even left our town, but I always imagined what the world could be like...I always dreamed about it. I mean you’ve only ever been to Hira’a and…” She paused, furrowing her brows together before continuing. “Your boarding school. Don’t you dream about the Earth Kingdom?”

Li looked at her and tilted his head. “The Earth Kingdom?”

“Yeah, I mean….” She shrugged. “Forget I said anything….I just know I’d like to get out of this country myself, sometimes.”

“I don’t dream anyway,” Li said, crossing his arms. 

Li heard her inhale, like she wanted to say more, but she didn’t. Instead she stood up and began to walk inside. He then heard the weirdest sound, like something flying through the air, then a gasp.

Zuko turned to her and jumped, seeing an arrow through her thigh.

“Li-” She whispered in a strangled voice.

Li quickly went on his feet, looking into the trees from where the arrow had to come. He didn’t see any movement. “Who’s there?” He demanded, stepping off the porch and engulfing his palm in flames. “Show, yourself, cowards!”

Nothing happened.

Li huffed and turned away to her. She was hunched over herself, her hand hovering near the arrow. It was like she wanted to touch it, but she knew she couldn’t. Li could make out her face becoming pale in the moonlight.

He then heard the door to their house slide open and he turned to it, coming face to face with Kiyi, who was rubbing her eyes. The three year didn’t look fully awake, but Li knew that didn’t matter. She was always as stubborn as ever. If he told her to go back to bed, she wouldn’t.

“Give me one second Kiyi,” he said to her, while walking to look at his mother. “Do you think you can walk to the healer’s house?”

She looked down at her leg, the arrowhead cover in blood as it exited the front of her pants. “I have to try, right?”

He looked back at Kiyi. “Kiyi, can you hold my hand?” As much as he didn’t want her to see their mother like this, he didn’t want to leave her alone when people who hurt his mother were out there. 

She put her small hand in his calloused one and he wrapped an arm around his mother’s waist. She took a shallow breath, then attempted to take her first step, leaning on Li.

He looked over her wound. Li had never seen anyone get shot with an arrow before, but he thought it had to be good it hit her leg instead of his abdomen or heart. It also grazed the side of her leg, as though if the archer was only a few centimeters off, it would miss her.

It was so odd.

Li kept examining her leg as they slowly walked down the dirt road, like if he looked long enough he could find something for him to do that would be helpful. He would rather focus on that than her ragged breaths and grunts as they walked the short distance to the healer’s house.

“Is there anything I can do for you-anything to make you more comfortable?” Li asked, the two most important people from his life hanging onto him. 

She quickly shook his head. She tried to do her best to teach her children to deal with their emotions and express them, but she rarely got upset in front of them, including from pain. She could be stoic when she wanted to, along with being caring and warm. 

In reality, Li wasn’t sure if he had ever seen his mother in pain other than when she had Kiyi. He was still recovering from his scar, though, at the time, so he barely remembered Kiyi’s birth. Other than that, she would get little cuts and bruises from combat training, but that was it. Pain was a selfish weakness, though. It was easy to be weak for those that she loved, standing up for what she believed in, but pain meant being vulnerable for no one but yourself.

Li kept his gaze on her. They had a lot in common.

After a long, but normally short walk, they finally were at the healer’s house. Li banged on the door, waited a few seconds, and then he banged again while his heartbeat hammered in his ears.

Finally, the door opened to the healer in a night robe, her long hair worn in a braid, flicks of grey though it. She scowled at Li for a brief moment, then she looked at his mother. She tilted her head inside. “Help me get her on the table.”

She went inside, removing a bowl of fruit from the table and putting it on the ground. She then took his mother’s other side as Kiyi let go of his hand. They carefully helped her sit on the table, making sure her thigh where the arrow hit was not touching the wood. The table was close to the ground though, so she was able to rest her feet on the ground.

“You can lie down, Noriko.” 

She furrowed her brows. “No, I’m fine to sit up.”

The healer put both her hands on his mother’s shoulders. “It’ll be easier for me to get the arrow out if you’re on your back….it will be okay.”

She let the healer lay her down slowly as Li went to Kiyi, picking her up. She wrapped her legs around him and her arms around his neck. He held her small head to keep it positioned towards the wall and away from their mother.

“You might want to go outside,” the healer said. “This is going to be painful.”

“But-”

“For Kiyi,” she clarified, opening a chest she had placed against the wall. She took out different jars and tools. Li’s stomach dropped. “She shouldn’t have to see this.”

Li nodded, walking outside. He went far enough away from the healer’s house that he felt close to it, but not close enough that he could hear what was going on inside. He glanced back at the small house before he turned his back to it. He had always admired the healer, she could always stay so calm as her patients panicked. 

He tried to not focus on what was happening to his mother. He stroked Kiyi’s head, hoping she would go to sleep and forget everything that she had to see today. Her breaths were steady, so assumed she already was. The cool night air and the stars above were very calming, he could imagine himself falling asleep here on a different occasion.

Footsteps then came from ahead of him and he then snapped his head down, three Fire Nation soldiers ahead of him, dressed in the traditional uniforms. Li was tempted to put down Kiyi so he could fight them, but he didn’t trust that he’d be able to protect her if she wasn’t in his arms.

“Gosh, relax kid,” one soldier said as they all stepped forward, he had yellow eyes like Li that shined in the moonlight. Li stepped back. “You look like you’re trying to set us on fire with your mind.”

Another soldier spoke, he had a large mustache, “We’re not going to hurt you if you do as we say, okay? Well, we won’t hurt you anymore.”

Li furrowed his brows. “I don’t understand.”

“Is your mother inside there?” one of them said, pointing at the healer’s house. Li nodded. “Well, take that as a warning shot.”

So these were the men who shot his mother. Li held Kiyi tighter to his chest, his gaze searching the three men. He didn’t know what to do. He was a talented fighter, but he never had to protect a child while fighting before.

“What’s going on, Li?” Kiyi muttered softly.

“It’s okay, you can go back to sleep,” he said, though he knew she wouldn’t. His gaze hardened on the men. “What do you want me to do?”

“You get straight to the point, huh peasant?” the third soldier said.

“It’s okay,” the mustache one said, putting his hands on his hips. “We can get straight to the point as well. The reason we’re here is because we have discovered that you are planning to harbor a traitor.”

“What-”

“Don’t bother lying,” he put his hand up. “General Iroh has been labeled a traitor by the Fire Nation and your family is planning to let him stay with you.”

“We hope, for your safety, that you weren’t aware of this, but all will be forgiven if you do a favor,” the one with the golden eyes said. 

General Iroh was an old friend of his parents who would come every few months for a week of firebending training with Li. Li didn’t understand the point of him coming all the way to their little town to just teach him for a few weeks out of the each season, but his mother insisted. 

“Your mother’s a herbalist, correct?”

Li nodded.

The soldier played with the hilt of his sword attached at his hip. “You’ll make him a tranquilizer, put it in the old man’s tea tomorrow, then we’ll put him where he belongs.”

Li frowned. “What did he do that labeled him a traitor?”

“That’s none of your business, little boy.”

“Assuming he doesn’t already know. I don’t understand why we don’t capture him as well.”

One soldier glared at the last one to speak. “We’re under direct order of Admiral Zhao, you’d do best to remember that.”

“Why don’t you just capture him yourself?” Li asked, shifting his weight between his two feet as his arms were sore from holding Kiyi for so long. “He’s an old man.” 

The soldiers unleashed their swords and Li jumped, which made his face heat up in shame. He held onto Kiyi tighter, his boots planted firmly in the dirt.

“Are you saying that you won’t do as we ask? We thought shooting your mother would be enough of a warning.”

Li didn’t really have a choice, did he? His mother was already on the healer’s table in the middle of the night with an arrow in her thigh. His mother who did nothing wrong but have the wrong man for a friend. She truly was unlucky with the men in her life. Li just hoped that he was the exception.

“I’ll do it.” he said and stood up straighter, adjusting Kiyi as he did.

The soldiers put away their swords. “He’s the Dragon of the West, he may seem like an innocent old man, but he’s terrifying in a fight, and he’s one of the most dangerous threats to our nation.”

“Okay,” Li said, only half believing them, as Iroh was his firebending master and Li got to see his skill on a few rare occasions. He still thought that three soldiers could take him, even if it wouldn’t be an easy fight.

The next couple hours went by in a blur. He went to see his mother, who fell asleep after the arrow was removed from her leg. The healer suggested she stay the night at her house, so he took Kiyi home. He couldn’t fall asleep, the shadows of his room haunting his mind in the darkness they created. 

He then was truly haunted when he heard Kiyi scream. He jumped out of bed, running to the center of their house to see her standing in their mother’s doorway.

She turned around when he came and he lit his hands to see tears streaming down her face.

“I had….had a nightmare, then mommy wasn't here, and-” She started to bawl.

Li dropped to his knees in front of her, wrapping his arms around her. She kept crying into his shoulder, her wails loud in his ear, but he didn’t care. Li always found it odd how children wailed with their whole heart put into their tears. They sounded so desperate and it was hard to understand what they were so desperate for. He thinks he understands now, though. She was desperate to forget the things that laid behind her eyes when she closed them

“Everything is okay, it’s just a nightmare,” he said softly to her. “You’ll see mother tomorrow, okay?”

She kept crying as he patted her back, not sure of what else to say to comfort her. She finally pulled back, her eyes puffing and her face red. He wiped a tear from her face and stood up.

“Let’s go back to bed, hm?”

She nodded and he led the way to her bedroom. He opened her door and waited outside as she passed him. He watched her sit down on her futon, wiping her eyes for any extra tears. She didn’t move to lie down, though. She just sat.

He stepped into the small bedroom. “What’s wrong, Kiyi?”

She looked up at him with tired eyes. “Will you stay here until I fall asleep?”

Li really didn’t want to. Even though he couldn’t sleep before, he held onto the idea that he’d be able to go to sleep now. He just wanted to rest so badly. He usually was able to get a good enough amount of sleep, but with his own nightmares and worrying for his mother he knew tonight would be different, but he didn’t want it to be.

He could never say no to Kiyi, though.

“Okay,” he said, sitting down on the wooden floors. He leaned his back against the wall so he could look out the small window in her room.

She moved her blankets over her and lied down on her side, facing the wall so her back was to Li.

Li’s neck hurt.

He opened his eyes to the purple colors of the sunrise filling Kiyi’s bedroom. He had fallen asleep sitting on the wooden floor. He yawned, looking to see that Kiyi was already awake, sitting up in her bed. He was lucky they both got up with the sun.

Li suspected she was a firebender, like him, because of this, but his mother didn’t see the importance of even trying to test her. She didn’t value firebending as important, but something inside Li made him anxious that they weren’t working her to her full potential. He always thought that people tested firebenders when they were babies so they could start their training as soon as they learnt to walk, but his mother was shocked when he told them that. Logically, he knew it made sense, as he wouldn’t trust a child with an open flame, and when that child could wield the flame, it was much worse. Still, something bothered him about his mother’s reluctance. 

He stood up, his legs sore from sleeping in the uncomfortable position, and went to the kitchen. He thought he may as well start his day and make breakfast for the two of them. Their mother didn’t get up with the sun, so he’d let her rest before he went to visit the healer to see how she was.

He went through their portions of rice and vegetables to divide them for the week ahead. As usual, there wasn’t as much as there ought to be and the usual disappointment and shame filled his stomach. He ignored it, though, knowing there was nothing he could do now. He boiled the rice and cooked the vegetables in a pan while she watched.

Li’s mind wandered to the soldiers who would occasionally visit their town. Li always hated them, but he hated them even more now. They didn’t make anyone feel safe in Hira’a, they were bullies who used their power to take from the villagers. Li hated this war as well, it was pointless, and like the soldiers it only benefited those who were in power. They focused all the country's resources on their legacy and honor while towns like Hira’a had to ration food.

He couldn’t comprehend why this random admiral needed them to capture their family friend. He also didn’t understand what General Iroh did that was so bad to make him “one of the most dangerous threats to our nation”. General Iroh was a retired old man who spent his days rambling about tea and pai sho. Maybe this was just another dream, one where his mother didn’t get shot and soldiers weren’t inserting themselves into their lives.

General Iroh did work for some weird secret organization, Li remembered. He could hardly see why that would make him such a large threat, though, as the White Lotus’s motto was “truth and beauty”. It had nothing to do with the Fire Nation or any danger, they just played pai sho and traveled the world together. The only reason they kept it a secret was because people from all three nations were members in it and saw each other as equals, something that they could be put in jail for in both the Earth Kingdom and Fire Nation.

He placed the food in two bowls and placed them on the table. He sat next to Kiyi and handed her the chopsticks. 

“Ugh, I hate these,” Kiyi said as he joined her at the table, a piece of cucumber in her chopsticks.

Li just pushed the bowl closer to her, a flat expression on his face. “I put your favorite sauce on it, the spicy one.”

She suddenly beamed, arranging the chopsticks in her hands to take a bite. She did and smiled. The sauce was another thing that they had to be careful about using, as it wasn’t cheap, but Li thought it was worth it today.

“When is Uncle Iroh coming?” Kiyi asked with a mouthful of breakfast.

Li scrunched up his face. “What did you call him?”

She smiled. “Uncle, he reminds me of an uncle and I don’t have any uncles, so he’s going to be my uncle,” She looked at him expentaly. “He said it was okay.”

“Hello?” a familiar voice said from the front door.

Li stood up, walking the short distance to the door, opening it to see the healer and his mother, a crutch under each of his mother’s arms.

He smiled. “Mother.”

She smiled back, but it didn’t reach her eyes, there were dark circles underneath them. 

“There’s breakfast on the table.” He was not hungry anyways, he didn’t mind giving up the food for her. She hobbled away as Kiyi babbaled to her. Li stepped closer to the healer. “So, she’s okay?”

She nodded. “She’s lucky, the arrow didn’t hit bone or her abdomen. She’ll be fine if she takes care of it, and if I expect anyone to prevent an infection it’s the town’s herbalist.”

He thanked her and she left. His sister and mother were still eating while his mother sat with her injured leg extended awardly across the floor. He closed the door, leaning against it as he shared a look with his mother.

“The people who-” he gestured with his hand, censoring himself in front of Kiyi. “-did that to you revealed themselves,” Her face dropped as he continued. “They’re soldiers, working for some Admiral, I think his name was Zhao, they are using us to get to Master Iroh. They say he’s a traitor.”

She brought her hand to her chin, looking into her bowl of rice. Li walked closer to them, sitting across from her.

“So….so they didn’t say anything about us, about wanting to hurt us for our identities?” she asked, her voice shaking.

“No,” Li raised his eyebrow.

“Oh,” she said, then she put her face in her hands, then her shoulders bounced. She was crying. Li tensed, he wasn’t good at this. With Kiyi, she was young enough that a hug stopped her. Adults were different.

His mother looked up at him, her face red and her tears shining in the morning light. “I thought….I thought they were going to take you away again-”

Li didn’t know what she was talking about, but it wouldn’t be the first time. She would get so paranoid about the littlest things, such as a soldier looking at them the wrong way or hearing a loud noise outside.

He walked over to her side of the table, rubbing her back. Kiyi did as well from where she sat on the other side of her with her little hand, even though her face was scrunched in confusion. She seemed to know this wasn’t the time for asking questions.

When Noriko calmed down a little bit, Li couldn’t stop the words from escaping. “They want us to poison Master Iroh, putting something in his tea….” She wiped tears from her eyes. “They threatened us, and they already…”

“Who’s they?” Kiyi leaned across the table to look at Li.

Li ignored her. “I can take care of it, I’m sure we have some tranquiliser.”

“Li….” Kiyi drew her voice out on his name. “What’s going on?”

He looked at her from over his mother, leaning closer to the table to do so. “Kiyi, not right now.”

She huffed, but didn’t say anything. She instead picked up her chopsticks and played with the small pieces of rice sticking to her empty breakfast bowl.

“So, they want us to do it today,” Li said, refocusing on his mother instead of Kiyi. “As today’s the day he arrives.

His mother tucked a piece of hair that fell out from her bun behind her ears and sat up straighter. “I guess we have no choice.”

Li stood up, taking both his Kiyi’s dirty bowl and cup. Kiyi happily handed him the chopsticks she was playing with. “Do they want him because of the White Lotus?” Li asked. “They said he’s dangerous, but I don’t understand….”

She laced her fingers together on the table, looking like a noble seated at an important meeting with her perfect posture and elegant tilt in her head, not like a peasant who just finished sobbing. “He is retired from the war, but he still works for a….I shouldn’t say.”

“You can tell me,” Li insisted, turning so he faced the two of them better. “Why haven’t you told me this before?”

She took her bowl in her hands. “I don’t know if he wants you to know, it could be dangerous...let's talk about this later. Now, we should take care of this, get it over with.”

“You should tell me what’s so dangerous about him,” he insisted. “He is myteacher.”

“You know why he’s dangerous, he’s a master firebender.”

“Yeah, I guess,” he said, crossing his arms. “There’s still something going on here.”

She looked at him, her grasp on her bowl tightening. “Let’s talk about it later.”

She started to collect her crutches to stand, but Li walked to the table. “I’ll deal with Iroh, you need to get your rest.”

“Li, I just got a small scrape.”

He rolled his eyes. “You’re going to bed, I can take care of this.”

“I-” she started, then she froze. “Okay….thank you.” She got her crutches and stood up slowly, making her way to her bedroom, the wooden crutches clanking on the floor, as Kiyi ran to her bedroom as well, for whatever reason. 

Li took her breakfast bowl to the kitchen and grabbed a moonpeach from their table. He took a bit of it, the sweet juices running down the sides of his face, as he walked over to where his mother worked. Where she practiced her herbology was at a table to the side of the kitchen. It meant that they worked, cooked, and ate all in the same room.

He went to her wooden cabinets up against the wall and opened her large book of herbology on the desk next to the cabinet. He brushed his fingers through the course paper, looking through the section for “t”. 

He found tranquiliser and looked through the options for what was used to make them. Most of them were single ingredients: extract from the uhiey plant, crushed hoiuo petals, extract from the shirshu mammal.

He opened the cabinet and scanned first for the uhiey plant in his mother’s supplies, that like the book, was in alphabetical order. He didn’t see the plant, so he looked for the petals instead. Again nothing. When he looked through the ‘s’ section, he saw a small vial filled with clear liquid. It had a tag reading “shirshu”.

He picked it up, wondering why his mother even had this while he felt the light glass bottle between his thumb and index finger. He put it in his tunic. He didn’t have any pockets, so between the folds of his clothing would have to work.

He leaned over to look in the book again, reading that two drops of the animal’s extract would stun a person for an hour. That would hopefully be good enough for the soldiers.

Then, Li went about doing his chores; feeding the armadillo-chicken, collecting the plants his mother frequently used from their garden, and going to the well for water. He set Kiyi at the table with a brush, ink, and paper when she begged to play outside. Now all he could do was wait.

Li wasn’t good at waiting. When he had to wait for something he felt either useless or anxious, depending on what he was waiting for. He didn’t like being stuck in his own head, so when he was forced to wait, he would occupy himself with something that would take up the empty space in his mind. But now, there were no customers for him to work on, he couldn’t go outside to train without making Kiyi jealous (and he didn’t want her to go outside because he knew the soldiers were watching them), and there was nothing left to do inside. 

Luckily (or unluckily, depending on how it was interpreted) he didn’t have to wait for long. A quick, melodic knock was at the door while Li was lying on the ground staring at the ceiling. He jumped up, making Kiyi look up from her incoherent scribbling.

He went to the door, feeling the knife strapped under his tunic before opening it….never can be too careful. 

There, with a smile on his face, was General Iroh. He wore muted browns that could be considered either Fire Nation or Earth Kingdom with a bag around his shoulder. He held a box that Li would bet held expensive tea supplies, or what Iroh would consider the only tea supplies worth using.

As much as Li didn’t understand why Iroh took time to train him, he actually did appreciate it, and he knew he would enjoy it more than learning from the Firebending Master who lived in Hira’a. Back at the academy Li went to, the teachers were strict and wouldn't refrain from humiliation or violence to get the best results from him. They also seemed convinced that Li was never going to be able to be a good firebender. Li was sure the Master in Hira’a was like that as well, as that was what teachers were like. Iroh, on the other hand, wasn’t a traditional teacher, and spent more time insisting that Li could be great if he was dedicated to it. Iroh saw dedication as something that Iroh had to work on too, always trying to make Li more interested in firebending by teaching him useless but unique techniques and the history of firebending.

Li would never admit it, but he looked forward to when Iroh came every season. Sometimes, Li felt like he was stuck in a fog, where whenever he did anything, he couldn’t see the full picture of it clearly. His life felt like he was missing something, and that something made him constantly question himself, except for when he was practicing with his dao or firebending. Learning from Iroh, though, gave him a whole new appreciation for the art that Li felt like he needed.

Iroh also was a great listener….even if most of the time Li didn’t have anything he wanted to talk about, but the few times he did, it was surprising how attentive he was. He also saw the way Iroh interacted with his mother. He was very friendly and kind. Kiyi was right to say that he was like an uncle, which made Li question again what made him so dangerous that the Fire Nation wanted him tranquilized.

“Li, it’s great to see you again,” Iroh said, a wide grin on his face. 

Li gave him a tight lipped smile and motioned for him to come inside. “You as well, Master.”

Iroh walked into their house, placing his stuff on the floor next to the wall. Li quickly closed the door behind him and made his way to the kitchen. He might as well get this over with.

Kiyi waved at Iroh with her ink stained hands before quickly going back to her scribbles. Li couldn’t understand how entertaining it was for her to be so devoted to it. Maybe it was just because usually she wasn’t allowed to play with the ink and brushes, but Li thought today was a good exception.

The door to their mother’s room slid open as she slid out, crutches under her armpits again. Her face still lit up when she saw Iroh, then it immediately dropped. It was as though she just remembered what they had to do, that this wasn’t a kind visit from a friend.

“Oh, Noriko, what happened?” Iroh asked, his voice deeply emotional.

“Just an accident, training with my sword with Li,” she said easily, like she had prepared the answer ahead of time. He was sure she did.

“I’m sure you’re tired from your travels, General Iroh,” Li said while getting the tea kettle from the cupboard. “I can make you a cup of tea.”

Iroh froze and raised his eyebrows. “Oh….that would be wonderful.”

Li guessed he didn't offer to make him tea much. He heated the water quickly, using a technique that Iroh taught him. He then arranged the blend of ginseng, trying not to think about what he was doing. He was going through with this crazy plan for his family.

Li felt the vial between the cloth of his tunic, hidden next to his knife. Hopefully this worked. He grabbed three cups from the cupboard, turning his back towards Iroh as he quickly poured the vial in the one with a chip in it. He then poured the tea and took a deep breath before setting it on the table in front of Iroh. He was kneeling at the table, watching as Kiyi scribbled. Li then set the other cups on the table where he would sit across from Iroh and the other in front of where his mother sat. 

“This is so kind of you,” Iroh said while taking the cup in his hands. “I’m glad that you are learning to enjoy the finer things in life, Li.”

Li nodded, taking his own cup. He took a quick sip, not realizing how hot the beverage was until it burned going down his throat. He was a firebender, though, so it didn’t burn his tongue. Iroh seemed to have the same idea as his wrinkled fingers grasped around the cup as he took it up to his lips. He didn’t drink it right away. First, he inhaled through his nose while the teacup rested above his lip. He was very particular about his tea, but Li knew he’d drink it to be nice because Li made it, even if it was horrible. 

He heard him sniff it, then readjust his fingers around it. He gripped the charcoal colored cup slightly harder before bringing it finally to his lips. Li watched him lean the cup against his face when it hit him.

This was crazy. They were poisoning a nice, innocent man just because three soldiers told them to. Li could handle them, he could handle danger. General Iroh could as well. It was very rare for him to show off his skill, but the few times he did, it was some of the most amazing firebending he’s ever seen, like the soldiers had said. 

“Wait! don’t drink-” Li stuttered out.

The general’s eyes went to the back of his head and he dropped to the floor, the tea spilling over his brown clothes.

Li stood up and grunted, angry at himself for letting this happen. 

“Uncle?” Kiyi asked. “What happened to Uncle Iroh?”

“Li,” his mother warned him, her voice tense as she reached out a hand to hold Kiyi. She then said in a soft voice, “Don’t worry about Iroh, he’s just taking a nap.”

Li pushed his stray hairs out his face and marched to his room. There, laying in the dusty corner, was his sling holding his dao. He put it over his shoulder and started to go back to the sitting room, when he paused. He went back to his dresser, putting in a few things he might need in his bag before putting it over his shoulder with the dao, then he went to his mother.

Kiyi was gone, probably in her bedroom. His mother was on the porch, the front door open behind her as she leaned against the doorframe. She was peering outside in the bright sun. She glanced at Li before looking back outside.

He crossed his arms, leaning against the wall, keeping his eyes on the door as Iroh’s soft snores filled the house. His mother was still scanning their surroundings. He was able to pinpoint the exact time the archers revealed themselves by the way she tensed, wringing her hands together.

He heard soft footsteps in the grass and he finally saw them. It was three male soldiers and two oddly dressed people.. They were the same soldiers as before, wearing black and red uniforms with the sign of the Fire Nation labeled on their breasts. They were built widely and strongly, he could tell more so in the daylight. The two others were slender and tall, but elegant. They were dressed in brown and grey uniforms without a sign on them, but they did wear red face paint, as well as had crossbows slung over their shoulders.

They entered the house while passing his mother, her face in a twisted strain while the strangers kept theirs blank. 

“The General is right there,” she said, gesturing to where he laid pathetically at the table. The soldiers picked him up without speaking while the archers watched. “Give my best regards to Commander Zhao.”

One soldier whipped his face to hers. “He’s an Admiral, you ignorant peasant.”

Her eyes widened. “My apologies, sir.”

Li kept his eyes on them, especially the one who insulted his mother. He watched as they struggled to carry General Iroh out of the house. As they left, going into their small city with dirt streets, he followed them. He stayed on the porch, staying as still as possible as they disappeared from his vision, turning down a street. 

“Li,” His mother’s voice interrupted him. “What are you doing?”

He turned to see her eyes searching the bags he had over his shoulder. Her eyes squinted at him. 

“Don’t wait up, and don’t follow me,” he said before walking away.

“Li!” She yelled at him, he could hear her angry footsteps behind him. “What in Agni’s name are you doing?” 

He turned around to look at her red face, then he ran. He ran as fast as he could, his bags and sword hitting against his side. He ignored the strange looks from his neighbors who were in their gardens. His mother couldn't follow him. He knew it wasn’t a good thing to do, take advantage of her injury and leave her while she was injured, but he had to.

He still went as fast as an angry breeze, so fast, he didn’t notice that the strangers who took General Iroh were right in front of him, well, actually only the archers. He didn’t see the soldiers or Iroh.

He halted in his steps, the dirt picking up from his running flowing in the soft sea breeze. He caught his balance from his quick stop as he waited for the archers to notice him.

They were at the docks, the soft ground beneath his shoes. It was the day of the week that most would spend with their family, so Li didn’t see any fishermen. He did see a Fire Nation ship in the water.

He drew his weapons, the cold hilt of the blades comfortable in his hands. “Where is General Iroh?” he demanded, trying to lower his voice.

They looked over to him, standing in the perfect sword fighting posture, and shared a glance with each other. One of them, the taller of the two, looked to the sea. “Leave without us!” he yelled.

Li tensed. That meant that they at least thought Li was a threat. He looked at the boat, it was too far and tall to swim to. Oh well.

“Where is he going?”

“We’re not going to tell you, little boy,” the shorter one said, his voice gravelly.

Li extended his arms, bringing the swords closer to the two archers’ necks. “Yes, you will.”

They both smiled at him. Maybe they didn’t actually see him as a threat and they were just making the ship leave as a precaution. Well, he was going to prove them wrong. Archers weren’t exceptionally known for close combat.

He made his first strike, swinging his sword at the taller of the two. The shorter one drew his crossbow as the other one ducked from Li’s hit. He then swung his other sword in the direction of the shorter one, who blocked it with his bow.

Li pulled back, but his sword was stuck in the wood of the crossbow. He heard the archer swear because of the dent in his bow. As Li tried to use his other sword to get his sword free, the other archer took an arrow between his fingers, trying to land it in Li’s shoulder. Li saw him from the corner of his eye as the bow dropped to the ground from his sword. Li kicked the taller one’s stomach.

He kneeled over as the other bent down to pick up his bow. Li swung his sword between his hands so it faced backwards and rammed the hilt of it into the shorter one’s head as he looked up from the ground, his crossbow in his hands.. He passed out cold.

Li fixed the swords so he held them properly and kicked the taller one again so he fell on the ground. Li then took that chance to sit on top of them, straddling him with his legs.

He looked into the alert eyes of the archer that stood out against the harsh lines of his face and the red paint. He looked like he was in pain. Maybe Li actually aimed lower than his stomach. 

He brought his sword up to his neck. “Tell me where they’re taking General Iroh.”

The archer didn’t speak. He just looked into Li’s eyes with their own raven black ones. He felt like the acher was questioning him, are you really going to kill me? No, Li wasn’t. He didn’t want to be a killer and this archer was probably just following orders. He still was angry at them, though, especially when he realized one of the two shot his mother.

He brought the sword closer to the archer’s neck, pressing gently until he saw a small bead of blood. The archer's face strained. “Tell me where he is, or I’ll kill you and question your buddy instead,” Li said, his heart pumping in his chest.

The archer took a shallow breath that Li felt under his body, Li was constricting his diaphragm. 

“Pohuai Stronghold,” the archer said softly. “That’s all I’m saying.”

Li brought the dao closer to his neck again. “You better not be lying.”

“No, I’m not….here….” he reached his hand to the inside of their tunic. Li immediately brought the dao closer to his neck, making another drop of blood reveal itself from his tan skin.

“Don’t move.” he rasped out.

His hand froze. “Fine, go inside my tunic, there’s a piece of paper with my orders from the Admiral.”

Li opened up the archer’s tunic and found the piece of yellowed and crinkled paper. He put it in his own tunic, deciding he’d read it later.

He gave one more look to the archer before he began to stand up, when pain exploded in the back of his head. 

He turned around to see the shorter archer with a rock in his hand standing over Li. 

He groaned before he got to his feet and swung his sword around again, hitting the archer with the hilt of it again. He gave a look to the other archer, still on the ground. He just raised his hands in surrender.

\-----

Li knew what he needed to do; go to the large city on their island where people didn’t care what day of the week it was and where ships from all over the world passed through. It was about half a day’s walk, and Li found himself starting it.

Li spent most of the walk, which was through a dirt path in the woods, questioning what the hell he was thinking. Maybe that was the problem, when he attacked the archers he wasn’t thinking at all. He let his body and heart do all the work while his brain was just along for the ride.

Now, he was stuck with his own thoughts. He didn’t know why cared so much about this General that he only saw four times a year. He also felt extremely guilty by leaving his mother when she needed him most. He found comfort in the fact that she had neighbors and the healer who would take care of her. She was very well liked in their town, she was probably friends with everyone.

It felt like the right thing to do, though. Maybe he should’ve waited to ask what business General Iroh did that made him be captured by Zhao, for all he knew Iroh could be a criminal or a murderer or a human trafficker. He liked Iroh, though. He seemed like a good person. Every single soldier that Li knew didn’t seem like a good person. Li knew this is what felt right, and what was life if not doing what felt right? How else would you make any decision? The unrest and anticipation Li felt for the past three years was only solved by training, because that felt right. This was the same thing.

Li sighed, running his hand through his hair. He could be gone for weeks, hopefully his mother wasn't too worried.

He could be gone forever.

No, General Iroh would protect him. Li was risking so much for him, of course he would do anything to show his gratitude, including using the skills Li knew he had. Anyway, Li was a talented fighter. With his disguise he could get in and out of the military base without being seen. He was sure of it. In the worst case scenario, he could always just play dumb or steal a guard uniform. He’d figure it out when he got there.

He walked the rest of the way in a state of guilt about his family, but eventually he could smell smoke. Yet another town with machinery put in place to build more weapons for this nonsense war. He prayed to Agni that Hira’a wasn’t next.

He found a bush to change behind, swapping his red tunic and burgundy pants for a black shirt and pants with soft heeled boots. He threw his old clothes behind the bush, feeling bad that he was wasting perfectly fine cloth. Nobody would buy it, though, and it would be a burden to carry with him.

He then put his hair up with a red string and traced his fingers over his clothes, flattening out any wrinkles. He then picked up the paper from the archers that he stored in his tunic. He unfolded it.

Pohuai Stronghold, Yuyan Archers order to serve under Admiral Zhao.

Li folded the paper back up, putting it in his shirt again. Well, that was helpful.

He walked to the town, feeling how different the dirt and sticks on the ground felt beneath his other shoes. At the end of the forest, there was a hill that overlooked the town. The red and tan buildings that lined the cobblestone streets and the sparkling water in the distance were all visible from the point in the dirt he stood at. He carefully went down the steep hill, trying his best to keep his balance on the rocks.

Once he entered the town, nobody paid him any mind. They just went about their days, the soft voices speaking to each other and the aroma of the houses and restaurants filling his nostrils. He looked up to see the sun setting, so people must’ve been eating dinner. 

He made his way onto the docks, observing how the torches from the boats began to light in orange sun. There were three boats attached to the dock.

He walked onto the wooden docks, trying to make it look like he belonged as he observed the people tending to their own boats. One boat was large and unattended while the other two had passengers. One was a small and open boat clearly meant for fishing, it’s tangle of nets and boxes taking up most of the space on it. The other was large and people were unloading boxes on it.

He took a deep breath and made his way to a fisherman wrapping his rope into a neat circle. He just needed to get the Earth Kingdom. Pohuai Stronghold was near the shore, so any place these boats could take him would be close enough.

“Um, excuse me?” he asked the fisherman.

He looked up at Li, the sun spots on his face prominent as he frowned down at him. “Whatcha want, boy?”

“Do you know of any ships going to the Earth Kingdom?”

The fisherman frowned more. “Why do you want to go to the goddamn Earth Kingdom of all places?”

“It’s none of your business, now, do you know any?” Li asked in a clipped tone.

The man rolled his eyes then tilted his head to the large ship across from them. “That ship trades with the Earth Kingdom, but I wouldn’t mess with them. They don’t like trouble.”

Li crossed his arms. “I’m not trouble.”

The fisherman just grunted.

Li turned away, looking at the large trading ship. There must’ve been lots of cargo aboard it, and lots of places to hide. He could go up and ask if they had any work for him or if they would trade passage for an expensive knife or theatre mask, but if the fisherman was speaking the truth all that would do is make the merchants keep their eye on him. Li knew he looked like trouble, his dark clothes and his large scar all fitted on the body of a teenage boy, his distaste for smiling also played a part in that.

Li watched as many men unloaded the cargo onto the deck from a carriage. There were four of them off the ship, two that were carrying boxes and two that were supervising, but mostly just talking to each other. He watched the men and the carriage until it was on its second to last box, then as the two men entered the ship, he bolted behind them, hiding behind some of the other boxes they unloaded, not looking at anyone. For all he knew someone saw him, but it was better not to make eye contact at all.

Once the men went to go get the last box, he wandered the ship. There were a few other voices in different rooms, but he found himself below deck where more boxes were stored. He quickly made a hiding place behind them as he waited for the men to take the rest of the boxes down here. After they did, he’d be able to relax, then maybe snope around for some food and water. 

\----

He had been on the boat for about a week, every day dreaming of his family. They would be able to survive without him, sometimes he thought he was more of a burden to them than someone that helped them, especially when they first moved and he would always be getting into trouble with other people in town. He knew they would worry about him, though. He took comfort in the fact that eventually they'd get over it and see that they were better off without him.

He was able to poke around the rooms above at night, getting water from a probably dirty water basin. He couldn't go on the deck or to the galley because you had to pass through the deck to get there. That was where the men took the night watch. 

In the rooms above, he didn’t find any food, but he did find a bowl. He took the bowl after discovering that some of the boxes were full of rice. He used his firebending and the dirty water to make the rice in an horrible way that was probably ruining the bowl, but he didn’t care. By the time he had this figured out, he scoped mouthfuls of rice with his hands, shoving it into his mouth like an animal with hands.

“Hey!” an angry voice yelled. “What the hell are you doing back here?”

Li opened his eyes, he hadn’t even realized he fell asleep. Oh no. 

The two men who put the cargo on the deck stood before him, scowling faces and wide shoulders. From his place on the floor, his back up against a box, he could see up their chins and nostrils. The three of them stared at each other, frozen.

“Cut off his hand,” one man broke the silence and said, like it was nothing. 

Li jumped onto his feet, thanking his past self for sleeping with his bag and sword on his back. When he stood up, he got head rush and felt a wave of dizziness over him. Rice probably wasn’t the best brain food. He’d only be able to fight if he had to.

He jumped onto some of the boxes, running past the men. When he jumped off it, he planned to do a somersault off them to land softly, but he ended up just landing on his shoulder. He got right up, though, and ran up the stairs.

“Agni,” he cursed, replaying his fall in his mind. 

Luckily, he realized the reason the men went below deck to the storage room was because they needed to unload, which meant they were docked on land. He ran down the deck and the rail, onto the docks, luckily without any trouble. He just saw a few shocked faces attached to stunned bodies. 

The other men didn’t follow him, luckily, or if they did, they were extremely slow and gave up. Li didn’t look back. He ran into the town, only then realizing it was completely empty. He ran to a large white building, putting his back against the wall where he could catch his breath.

This town was lifeless, the clouds grey and the buildings all brown and tan colored. Why did the merchant ship land here?

He readjusted his sword and bag, before walking away. He went through a house to try to deter anyone following him, through the back door and out the front, trying to not look at all the dusty objects in the house, bowls of moldy food on the table, clothes hanging from a line, like somebody left without notice.

He kept walking, not running, so his footsteps were quiet on the stone ground. He walked through the city, listening for any noise, until he reached the dirt where the city ended and hills were in the distance.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> thanks for reading xoxo  
> (also this chapter is exactly 10000 words :0)  
> edit: I just realized that when I was writing I kept spelling pohuai stronghold a bunch of different ways (none of them right) and I said id go back and check them, but I never did. i fixed them all now though :)

**Author's Note:**

> hello! thank you so much for reading! I'd love it if you dropped a comment (I love constructive criticism btw) and you can find me at tumblr @cinematic-parallels i crave human interaction so come and talk to me lol


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